Patio Chronicles
I moved into my humble abode six years ago and while it was not all that I wanted it to be, it was most of what I wanted it to be and I figured I could make it my oasis. Now let’s get an understanding right from the start – I detest bugs! Wait, no I have an absolute fear of anything crawling, flying, buzzing…well you get the picture. This brings me to the part about my outdoor space which was a small slab of concrete where I figured I would set up my picnic table and chairs, relax and look at the beautiful tall trees in my backyard. Ahhhh, my dreams are coming true. Well, I tried sitting out there two times and I couldn’t do it people, I just couldn’t do it. With bees buzzing, ants moving quickly about and the fabulous invasion of wolf spiders – I almost went crazy! Folks if you don’t know what wolf spiders look like Google it, yuck!!
Anywho, I knew this was going to be the first place I would start, because while I wanted to enjoy my outdoor space, I didn’t want to be outdoors! I know that sounds crazy, but bear with me. I figured a wonderful three season room would do the trick. I went about designing this space in my mind and how I wanted the doors to open out into the back yard. I hired a company to make my dreams come true, or at least I thought my dreams were going to come true once again – it didn’t happen that way.
Folks pay close attention to me when I tell you to pay attention to contractors and their renderings. My contractor and I carefully went over the plan that I wanted and the contractor drew it up to my exact specifications. Welllllllll, let me tell you what happened. If you recall, I wanted the doors to open to the back yard facing my vast array of trees – it didn’t happen that way. When I came home and saw the direction that the concrete had been laid, it would have had my doors opening straight to the neighbor’s patio. Hello, I said open to the trees not the neighbors! Back to the contractor to see what happened and why it was done improperly. Once the contractor saw it was their error, not only were they kind of enough to lay the concrete in the right direction, they left the concrete that was improperly installed which gave me a great space for my grill – I got lucky on this one people, because they probably figured it would cost them more to break up all of the concrete and haul it away – score one for me!!
Moving right along, I did get my beautiful three season room, but low and behold there was a bigger problem than concrete being laid the wrong way. Did I mention that my backyard also has a slope down from the trees? Guess what – that dream patio turned into an absolute nightmare! Yepper people, the biggest nightmare on the planet! Take heed to pay attention to various things when you buy your home and want to do a renovation. I wanted this great patio, but one thing was missing…drains were needed in the backyard! You know where I’m going with this scenario and if you don’t, picture this. I have my beautiful patio installed, tiles picked out and inserted and now I can go furniture shopping – woohoo! I find a great bar, everybody needs one, my chairs, table that I previously owned and other items. I’m so overjoyed at my new space that I sit out there everyday listening to the birds and enjoying nature from the inside of course.
One day it rains, and rains and rains and my happy little world flooded – literally! There were no drains in the backyard and therefore it all came into the patio. The only saving grace for the tile is that the installer stated they were going to use artificial grout because of the possible dampness. A owe a big thank you to Calvetta Brothers! Dampness is putting it mildly people. Well, I don’t know if you have ever seen someone running with a bar, but that’s what I did. I dragged my bar into the living room, running back and forth like a crazy woman trying to get all of my furniture off the patio. Needless to say I was fearful of the next rainy day.
Now listen to this next lesson very carefully. When you hire a contractor, not only should you get references, but you should check any and all sources possible to ensure that your hired person really knows what they are doing, because this is not like moving a vase from one side of the room to the other, it just isn’t. I mean what is the worst that can happen there, you break the vase or you don’t like its placement.
My landscaper, God bless him, referred me to someone he knew to install the drain. My red flag should have been when the drain guy was insulted that I asked him had he done this type of specific work before. Out of desperation to save my patio I went full speed ahead. The guy gives me a price, writes it up and I agree to it. When I come home, the price is $500.00 more and he installed an additional drain that he didn’t bother to call me to get my approval. He got the “ok” from my landscaper to do it, excuse me, why are you getting the ok from my landscaper? That’s another talk show people, but I didn’t pay it just to let you know.
Well I’m all set, ready to sit on my patio and listen to the pelting rain on the roof (I love the sound as the rain as it is relaxing and makes me feel like I’m on the ocean or something (my favorite place to be). I was still apprehensive and just waiting to see how my new drains were going to hold up. Ha!! They didn’t hold up at all and once again I am running with my bar, chairs and other furniture to the living room. Why, why, why is this happening and what went wrong?! I was not able to get this guy to come back, nor did I really want to be bothered with him (another story) and once again I asked someone I knew if they knew someone that could do the work. I know, I know, I still didn’t learn my lesson.
Enter drain guy number 2. He gives me a completely different scenario of what needs to be done and it sounds fantastic, let’s do this thing! He worked diligently in my yard by digging, digging and digging away. He installed piping needed and worked tirelessly. My yard looked as if it had been struck by a few bombs - torn to pieces! He said the work was complete, left my yard in total destruction and then it rained. I bet you can’t guess what happened next - my patio flooded, that’s what happened!
To make this long story shorter, I called in a “professional” company that told me exactly what the problem was and how it needed to be remedied. I called the second drain guy back, told him what he did not complete and kindly asked him to return and finish the job properly. He did return and asked me for an additional $1,800 to put my yard back in order - hahahaha!! Needless to say, I did not pay for such nonsense and the yard was restored and the drains all lived happily ever after. The do’s, don’ts, disasters and dreams of the patio chronicles are now complete. The moral of this story is to get at least 3 or 4 references and if the contractor does not want to provide them - KEEP IT MOVING!!